{Guest Post} Peek a…Poo?

Today, my friends, you are in for a treat. A few weeks ago, I was a finalist in the Lovable Labels BlogHer’10 Contest along with four other bloggers. Unfortunatley, I did not win a trip to NYC to attend BlogHer and party down with a bunch of awesome bloggers. I will tell you, however, that a really awesome blogger won…and she just happens to be named Lindsay as well! So, today, you get to enjoy Lindsay Maddox from Silly Mom Thoughts and her hilarious take on potty training. Be sure to hop over to her blog after you read this post and show her some love!

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Potty training, like parenting, is not for the faint-at-heart. Parents, and moms especially, are faced with the most stomach-turning, hideous, frustrating experiences on a daily basis.

Ask any mom who has potty trained a child and she’ll tell you exactly how cold toilet water is. She’ll even tell you how, exactly, you maneuver soiled undies around swooshing toilet water to maximize poo disposal without losing grip of the undies and therefore clogging the toilet. She’ll even tell you which products work best for getting potty stains off of furniture and out of carpets.

I don’t know about you, but these factoids weren’t a part of my everyday knowledge before kids. Now, somehow, they are.

{It’s no wonder I can’t remember silly things like, oh, my cell phone when I leave the house. My brain is at capacity with random toilet knowledge.}

We are currently attempting to potty train our 2.5 year old daughter, Lily. So far, so… well… I don’t know if “good” is the right term, but let’s just say I’m exceedingly grateful for our decision to remove all of our carpet and install laminate.

The other day, I bravely allowed Lily to prance about the house in her “unna-ware!” as she calls them. She would have a tiny accident, but run to the potty to try and finish there. We were on the right track.

Then, she had a big accident. An accident that involved reaching into my potty knowledge and relive the reason I knew how cold toilet water was.

Afterward, while walking through the house, I happened upon one thing after another.

Oh my gosh, it’s poop! I thought.

Whew! Nope. Just a flowering weed that had served as my hand-picked hair accessory.

A few minutes later…

Ew! Ew! Ew! Poooooop!

Ohthankgoodness. Just a play mushroom.

Then, a few minutes later…

I knew it! I knew she pooped on the floor!

…until further inspection when I realized it was merely a chewed up piece of roast beef from lunch.

You know how after you were engaged, you suddenly began noticing other womens’ engagement rings?

Or, after you found out you were pregnant, you saw pregnant people everywhere?

I think that’s similar to what potty training does to a mom. It makes you see feces everywhere.

Thankfully, there were no actual doo sightings on that day. That doesn’t mean there won’t be. Believe me, I know. In the meantime, I’ll keep mistaking foliage and lunch meat for crap, until the day I actually stumble across the real thing.

(Let’s just hope I’m wearing shoes.)