If you have never read anything that Dr. Wess Stafford, the president of Compassion International, I cannot urge you strongly enough to change that right now.

I first experienced Dr. Stafford’s writing when I picked up a copy of Too Small to Ignore: Why the Least of These Matter Most at the Compassion Table – I think it was at the Women of Faith conference last year, actually. He writes about his childhood on mission with his parents in Africa and the abuse he suffered at a boarding school for missionary kids. It tore at my heart strings, but also made a huge difference in how I view my own children.

The most important thing I learned from Dr. Stafford is that kids can do way more than we give them credit for. They are not helpless beings that need us to protect them from every little thing, but they are strong, resilient and more self-sufficient than you think.

Compassion Blogging Assignment

Each month Compassion sends out a “Blogging Assignment” to all of its bloggers to give us a topic to write about to include Compassion into our blogs. This month’s assignment was a simple phrase:

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

If you read about all of the “sticks and stones” that Dr. Stafford had to face, you would be amazed that he made out alive, let alone turned into an amazing missionary and child advocate who touches millions of lives. It all stemmed from a one minute conversation he heard his father have with someone else. Hearing how his father saw him in that one minute changed his entire life and the path he would take.

This all leads to his new book called Just a Minute. I’m not going to go too much into the book because I’m going to be reviewing it in the next few weeks, but the basic idea is this – One minute can change the life of a child. One word. One action. One minute.

My One Minute

When I was a child, I was bullied relentlessly. I don’t remember much about my childhood – I’ve told myself it’s because I’ve blocked it out. While that may be partially true, I do remember a few key moments that have defined me and helped make me the woman I am today (I didn’t turn out so bad, ya know).  And while those may be very important to who I am today, they are not the one minute I think of when I am trying to find where my life was shaped.

My “one minute” came to me in adulthood – not all that long ago, actually. I was a new parent – probably less than a year into this adventure of parenthood. I thought I was a horrible parent. I was tired, frustrated and felt completely overwhelmed. I thought that I was clearly doing something wrong and so I called my mother to find out what that “something” was that I was messing up.

Honey, you are a great mother. I am so proud of you.

I know it seems silly to many of you, but that is the moment that helped to shape me as a parent. I stopped questioning myself as much (I think it’s inevitable that we, as parents, question ourselves sometimes) and started relying on my motherly instincts that I never realized I had. My mother thought that I was a good mother. That’s like Michael Jordan telling you that you’re good at basketball!

They Will Hear You

The same thing holds true for children – if you tell them they are good at something, they will hear you. But, at the same time, if you tell them they are bad or shouldn’t even try – they will hear you. Because of Dr. Stafford’s book, I am careful with how I talk to my children. I treat them less like helpless babies (although they are still going to be my babies forever) and more like people. I make sure they know that they can do anything they dream of, if they just put their minds to it. When they tell me “I can’t,” I correct them instantly - “Oh yes, you can.”

Just One Minute can change the life of a child. Don’t miss your minute.

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I was not compensated for this post in any way. I truly believe in the ministry of Compassion and Dr. Stafford’s teachings. I encourage each of you to pick up a copy of Too Small to Ignore or Just One Minute and read how you can impact the life of a child.